I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize