Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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