We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize