if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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