pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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