I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I can't turn off my feet"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
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