Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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