I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize