"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
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So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
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What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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