We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
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It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
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She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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