On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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