Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
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You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
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Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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