you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize