After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize