direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
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At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
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Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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