Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i was born a porn star she said
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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