The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize