it was like his penis was on wheels.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
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just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
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Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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