I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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