I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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