I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize