when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize