I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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