He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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