my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
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I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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