she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize