I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
