Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize