4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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