Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize