I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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