4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
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its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
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No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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