Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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