too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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