I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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