I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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