I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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