the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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