I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize