i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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