So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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