Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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