Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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