My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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