its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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