I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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