Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize