I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
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He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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