I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just threw up on my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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