I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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