I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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