Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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